Here I Go Again...

Nashville, TN:  I can remember writing my New Year's Day blog from a year ago.  It has been almost exactly a year ago (365 days today since it was a leap year) and it's been interesting doing a personal inventory of what this year has offered, what amazing opportunities I've had and what completely ridiculous mistakes I've made.

First, an overview of some of the good stuff (aka a summary of most of my blog posts from 2008):

- bought my first home:  a sweet condo in East Nashville (technically December of '07, but actually making it my HOME happened this year)

- started an amazing job as Tour Manager for one of the most incredible women in country music (and the music business as a whole)

- visited a few churches like here and here and here (though still looking for the perfect place for me)

- went to the UK with another fabulous female artist and hit London (again), Glasgow, Leeds, Manchester and Liverpool... and made it to the Cavern Club

- spent 4 days in Paris with my friend, Melanie, where we hit museums, cafes, Jim Morrison's grave and where I met up with my Algerian penpal from 20 years ago

- took a Mindfulness workshop and began going to weekly meditation group at Vanderbilt, plus tried (and still trying) to meditate daily (hard to do, but I have a great little meditation area set up in my room!)

- visited my best friend in Asheville, NC, and other fun bitches nearby, where I was reminded of how very important it is to have good friends

- went to a Women's Creativity Retreat in South Kona, Hawaii, where I studied under the woman that wrote the how-to book on Polaroid Image Transfers & Emulsion Lifts

- participated in the Relay For Life and walked 10 hours / 40 miles and raised $1685 for cancer research

- met a few boys :)

- traveled around the country (and a bit of Canada) with my boss, her friend and that other chick

- started salsa dancing

- strengthened my friendship with few fabulous females and found my local Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte

- went to Israel, saw where Jesus was born, lived & died and took a boat ride on the sea of Galilee listening to 70s music on an Israeli iPod (including "Brick House" -- very surreal)

- read a bunch of books! (for book club, of course)

- flew to the west coast to see the Indigo Girls, drove to Memphis to see the Dave Matthews Band, came back to see Sheryl Crow, Matt Wertz, Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers and Jason Mraz in town (not all together, unfortunately), then flew to Raleigh to see John Mayer 

- began volunteering at Magdalene and Thistle Farms

- got a new pair of glasses

- took a mixed media painting class

- saw (and met!) New Kids On The Block on their reunion tour

- got even more involved with Magdalene

- had a visit from M&D over Thanksgiving (and actually COOKED!) then went to Omaha to spend time with them over Christmas

And now for the low-lights:

Actually...

You know what?  I'd rather not post them here.  Partially because they are either stupid or embarrassing or heartbreaking (or all of the above) and, though I have a tendency to relive them whenever I write year-end reviews (and most nights, to be honest), I'd rather not have them in print so I can see what a jackass I can be at times.  Or have my friends / family / parents be reminded / made aware of it either.

However... 

I want to share some perils of wisdom my friend, Stacye, gave me one particular morning, following a night I'll chalk up to living & learning:
"One of the long-pondered opinions I've come to is that this life seems to be a long (hopefully) succession of major fuck ups, near misses and fumble-y attempts at making it all right. We're all just looking to FEEL something. More powerful, more in control, more attractive, more loved, less of a loser, less of whatever our parents or old boyfriends told us we were.... 
Unless there is real malice behind any of it I have to assume that it's all easily forgivable and not nearly as big a portion of the big picture as it feels like it is the next day. "
So instead of dwelling too much on the cringing moments of the past, I'll look -- once again -- to the future and hope that I can continue on this journey, this path to wholeness, knowing that despite all the bad stuff, I'm still so very, very blessed.