Atlanta, GA: I wanted to wait until I had a least a week under my belt before I blogged about it. Not that I thought I wouldn't make it necessarily, but I am human (very flawed & prone to making mistakes), so I wanted to make sure I could at least pull off a week. And I did it!
To be specific, I haven't had a drink in eight days.
This may not be a big deal for most people, but in the world that I live in, having a daily cocktail is not only encouraged, but in some cases,
promoted.
As part of the
Lenten tradition, I decided to give up alcohol for 40 days. My reasoning behind this abstinence stems from a few different places. One, in the
spirit of lent, I wanted to truly give up something that I loved, something that would make me stop and think "
oh right, I'm not going to do this right now to be mindful of the season." And believe me, every time, around dusk, when I think a glass of pinot would go lovely with the spreadsheet I am working on, I am very aware that this is a conscious choice.
Two, very selfishly, I want to see how much weight I can drop if I take out the "empty calories" that seem to be a part of my lifestyle. Since the beginning of the year, I've been changing some of my eating and fitness patterns (to be discussed further in yet another blog). One thing that keeps coming up is that no matter how good I am on my meal portions or
sculpt classes, my weight doesn't tend to move much when adding a bottle of wine with every dinner.
And that brings me to three. I don't think having a glass of wine or a beer is wrong at all. In fact, I very much enjoy the tingling sensation I feel in the back of my scalp after half a glass or the true refreshment of a ice cold draft after a long day. But there in fact lies the problem. I don't just have ONE glass of wine. I don't just stop at ONE beer. That same tingling sensation I get from the first glass makes me want a second to increase the feeling. Of course, the second one tastes (and feels!) that much better, so it's onto a third, and before you know it... I've drank a whole bottle.
Usually I'm in good company (though it's not above me to drink alone) and for the most part, I'm a happy-go-lucky gal. (Just a little more giggly and sometimes with the faintest hint of a slur.) But there are times that I morph into someone else. I get some sort of
boldness to speak my mind (or, in some cases, just talk a bunch of shit with no real meaning). I become MEAN and pick fights with those I love over some sort of miscommunication or misinterpretation (though the ones I love are most always drinking heavily as well). And if I'm not
mad about something, I usually end up crying. Big, stupid, drunken tears.
a night of fully charged drinking...
Mornings after nights like those consist of hangovers and regret, a scan through texts to see what was said (usually accompanied by a cringe), a phone call or an email to apologize for my behaviors -- or more specifically, to ask the embarrassing question: what exactly happened?
a morning full of regret and poor memory....
Bottom line is: I don't like being that person. And I want to make sure I am in a position where I can say ENOUGH and stick to it. I don't want to have to say "I can't stop." So, I'm stopping for 40 days. And hope to be able to go back to a glass or two... with a giggle and a few less pounds.
