Baton Rouge, LA: Yesterday would have been the Lilith Fair concert in Nashville, had it not been cancelled. Even though I've dealt with my sadness of Thistle Farms not receiving the dollar-per-ticket-sold-charity-donation (well, almost finished dealing with), I decided to treat myself to a little trip to visit some friends who were both scheduled to perform at the festival.
It was fun to spend some time with them and a few other good friends who invited me to come even further south, though it was strange to be backstage without a work purpose. I felt almost naked without a radio. However, I walked fast, with purpose, and looked at my iPhone a lot. It was the best I could do.
The great thing about not working, however, was to actually watch the show itself. Usually, I can get in a song or two, but to see an entire set -- actually, TWO sets -- is a rarity. And, in typical
me fashion, I couldn't help but let myself get swept away in the lyrics and internalize them. From
"how long till my soul gets it right?" (seriously - how long already?!?!) to
"a heart that beats -- an incredible machine" (holy crap - it is SUCH an incredible -- and sometimes confusing and fickle and overwhelming -- machine). That, combined with a few unplanned trips down memory lane, confirmed what I have slowly come to realized.
It happens.
Pain. Suffering. Uncomfortableness.
Dukkah. I'm so used to used to running from it, trying to wish it away. Or pray it away. I can take a trip to random city USA and it still somehow finds me. What I'm getting now is that it DOESN'T just leave. You can't control it, no matter how hard you try. The only thing you do have control over is how you handle yourself in that moment. By taking a deep breath. By changing the subject. By hoping to figure out
how this situation could be a part of the path.
And I got all this out of two acts. Just think what I would have discovered had I actually gone to a full day festival of female musicians....
