Omaha, NE: January 1st. Day you're supposed to make the new year's resolutions, right? What good things you're going to do, what bad things you're going to stay away from. I gave that up a couple of years ago because even though I'm a great plan-setter, I'm not a very good follower-thruer. Instead, I came up with a word of intention. This is something easier to manage and throughout the year, I could actually refer back to it when I wasn't doing the good things or was doing the bad things I had previously said I would or wouldn't do. With only a smidge of the guilt.
I actually came up with my word of intention for 2011 on Christmas Eve. I was floating on a raft in a pool in Isla Mujeres, the weather was in the mid 70s and I was waiting for the sweet boy to bring me una cerveza, por favor. I was sans-glasses (to avoid the tan lines, if possible), so was squinting to make out the city scape of Cancun, only a short 20 mins. ferry ride away, but very blurry for someone who wasn't wearing her glasses that she needs for good vision.
After a while, I gave up and went back to my position on the raft and tried my best to do... nothing. As a big-time do-er, this is just about the hardest thing for me to do. But, I actually did a pretty good job of soaking up the sun, welcoming the breeze to cool me and listening to the sound of the ocean a few feet below me. But then, inevitably, my mind started to wander.
Focus.
The word first came into my head and I assumed it was a sign of what I should be doing. "Right," I told myself. "Focus on doing nothing. This is your vacation." So, I took a deep breath (and a drink of the cold, delicious cerveza... gracias, sweet boy) and tried to get back to it.
Focus.
Ah! Ok, maybe the focus in my head was referring more to me trying to check out Cancun without glasses on! I just need to focus a little harder, then I can see it clearly. I tried again, straining my eyes to see the skyline, though it was still a little blurry. (That may have also been attributed to mas cervezas, however.)
Focus.
And then, I got it. THAT would be my word of intention for 2011. As a workaholic / professional do-er / flawed perfectionist, it's not that I don't DO enough. But, recently, I've felt that my do-ing has been half-assed. When I go to the gym, I'm there, but I'm also checking Facebook on my iPhone to ignore the fact that I really don't want to be there. When I work, I multitask a lot, so sometimes I will quickly throw together a spreadsheet without really giving it the 100% attention, in order to do three other things at the same time. When the boy and I go out, sometimes I won't be totally present, as my mind tends to drift to the to-dos that need to get done. And since the time between the two of us is sometimes scarce, what the hell am I doing not being present?
At that point, I realized my word of intention would be focus. However, since I had already used "focus" as a title of a previous post, I wanted to think of something at least a little more original, so I asked Judy, the house manager in Isla, "¿Cómo se dice focus?" (my 2 years of high school spanish did pay off a bit.) She thought for a second and realized what I meant, in Spanish, would actually translate to "to focus," and translated for me, "enfocar."
I smiled, thanked her (en español, of course), and concluded that my word of intention for the new year would be enfocar, to focus. In short, to do whatever I'm doing with focus, with intention and with purpose.
I have a few to-dos within that new year's intention (spanish lessons, one picture a day, spend more quality time with the boy), but for now, my enfocar is to go to sleep and prepare for tomorrow's adventures. I'm already looking forward to the enfocar of 2011. Tonight, that comes in the form of zzzzzzzzz.
