Durant, OK: When someone dies, it is customary for visitors to gather at the home of the deceased to pay their condolences. In Jewish tradition, there is a week-long period of mourning and grieving known as sitting shiva. In both cases, friends will bring over dishes of food as an offering of peace and nourishment during this painful time.
In the time frame of a PB (post-break), which can be - at times - as equally traumatic as a death, many friends will offer the same sympathies in other forms (though food is also appreciated!). They bring gifts of
song, share
promises of comfort and suggest
forms of redirection.
Another type of this much needed sustenance comes from books. I received one in the mail the other day from my favorite aunt, who is also my Godmother, so you know she knows me. It was a small book, in the "
Life's Little Instruction Book" style, but without all the happy endings.
It's called "
Dear Old Love" and is filled with "anonymous notes to former crushes, sweethearts, husbands, wives & the ones that got away." On the back, it tells me "you are not alone."
Well, technically I am right now, but I see their point.
Here are some of my favorite ones so far (and by favorite, I mean heart-stakingly painful and pretty funny to boot):
I started listening to Cat Power for you, but screw that - I'm going back to Beyoncé.
I finally found someone who doesn't mind if I wake them up in the morning to say goodbye.
You didn't break my heart -- you just made it heavier.
As I flip through the book, I feel a connection with the entire world. Heartbreak is SO universal and even if it takes me longer than the seven allotted days, I know I am truly not alone.