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On a plane somewhere between Los Angeles, CA – Nashville, TN:
Ho hum.
That’s what I think of my blog & writing in general right now.
I’ve been trying my best to keep my writing active with blog series such as 100 Little Pleasures of (Touring) Life, Tour Manager Apps and The Great Church Search. And as much as I love getting a blog written & posted (another goal to check off the list!), it’s hard to find any real depth in the pieces. TGCS offers a little bit of reflection, but the self-imposed structure is geared to be a more technical & formal review.
The blog itself -- Musings From The Road – should be just that: musings. But my musings are sometimes too personal or painful. Can I really share that on a public blog? Can I really talk about family drama and illogical anxieties and indulgence battles? And how the hell did Carrie Bradshaw date actually date while writing a dating & sex column?
I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to write about the meaningful musings in my head. I want to investigate the chipped pieces of my heart that are tender and broken. I want to do what Anna Nalick croons about: "If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to."
But how vulnerable can I be? How much can I open up to the world (even if it’s only a few readers)? How much can I take their reactions?
Since I like projects and set time frames, I think I’m going to give myself a little project over this fall. I’m going to write. Not only on my blog, where I can share stories from my adventures (and also Facebook & Tweet and wait for instant reactions), but for now, just for me. A memoir of musings, perhaps. Something to share those embarrassing and enlightening tales that have lead me to the place I am right now. Without having to edit myself to eliminate my ridiculous thoughts to the world. Granted, I could just keep a journal and keep it to myself, but I find it to be easier to keep up a good intention when it’s said outloud.
So there, I’ve said it.
I’m going to be spending four months in the city of angels, so why not solicit some angels to help me get focused? A writing coach might be a good starting point and while I’ve got a couple of folks in mind, I’m open to any suggestions.
I think the biggest challenge to begin – besides the actual getting starting part – will be the fact that I won’t get that instant gratification a blog post presents. I’m not strong enough yet to say I don’t need it, so I’ll probably blog about writing. But who knows? Maybe a little patience and perseverance now might lead to a published piece in the future.
