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Valley Village, CA: A couple of months ago, I had declared to the world that I was going to write. I would get a writing coach in LA and write, just for me. Staying true to my word, I began researching writing coaches and (temporarily) moved to California. Two things happened:
1. I realized I actually don't have enough time to meet someone on a regular basis and then also write when I'm not meeting with them.
2. The writing coach I thought was perfect for me turned me down. Granted, I don't have the time to dedicate to writing (see #1), but still. It kinda hurt my feelings.
I was about to give up on postpone my goal, when I remembered a good friend suggesting I check out writers groups while I'm out here. Through some late night googling, I came across the Writing Pad. It looked like a hip website and actually offered a once a week for five weeks class on personal essays, which looks really interesting and... oh wait. Thursday nights. Our tape night. I can check that off the attainable goal list too.
I scanned the classes one more time and saw this:
Granted, I already blog fairly regularly and don't necessarily need to "drive agents to my doorstep" (however, I am available for book deals, FYI). But the idea of getting a little help with something I already do makes the pressure of doing something totally new dissipate a bit.
Plus, it was run by a woman named Jenna, who writes the blog,
Splendid, Really. She's a 27 year old beautiful (and seemingly intelligent, despite her younger-than-me age) PR gal who
describes herself as someone who
"hearts personal development / self-help / goal-setting with a bursting passion." She displays her own bucket list (or as she calls it, the
Jenna List)
, which includes:
Write [and publish!] a memoir
Give up Starbucks for a month
Have sex 30 days in a row
Oh yeah. I'm totally taking this class.
With only one spot left, I signed up on a Friday afternoon and minutes before heading out for the evening, I receive an email telling me I must turn in my "pre-class homework" -- an unpublished blog to be workshopped in class -- to Jenna by Saturday at 1pm. Shit. I had to work the next day and was going to be gone for most of the night. Plus, what was I even going to write about?
After a fun, yet way too late of an evening, I headed back to my backyard patio (because... I have a backyard patio!) with my computer, a glass of wine and a blank screen. And then I started typing.
The result? After two and a half hours and two more glasses of wine: a blog about relationships. This feels strange to me because normally I don't write about relationships. I don't feel comfortable writing about (too) personal feelings, especially when most of the time they stem from neurotic fears.
Plus, it's no secret that I've been inspired by a
certain writer from a
certain TV show. I've even said
I wanted to be her. Recently, a new friend sent me a link to
this blog and said
"I think you'll get why I'm sending you this." (She's new and even she knows.) To summarize:
"YOU’RE STILL SPEAKING IN ‘SEX AND THE CITY’.
Sex and the City isn’t real. We’re adults. We know it’s not real.
If it is your instinct to take this nonsense too seriously… don’t.
I’m not really a Miranda, or a Charlotte, or a Carrie…
I’m a me, and it’s rad (and awkward)."
DAMNIT! I was doing it again!
Two days later, I was in a conference room in Culver City, surrounded by five other blogger wannabe's and the guru herself (and yes, she really does drink Chai Lattes from Starbucks and yes, she is really that smart & beautiful in real life). We went through basic topics: know your purpose and carve your niche; to the more proactive duties: post consistently and promote on social media.
After a break, we go to the crux of the class: workshopping our blogs. Normally, when I blog -- even when I post a link on Facebook or Twitter -- I don't actually see the people reading my blogs. And even though they know it's by me, I still feel slightly anonymous. Jenna started off part two by asking, "who wants to read theirs first?"
Reading my words in public to people I don't even know technically isn't a HUGE deal, but in this case it felt even more unnerving because of Berger.
Yes,
Jack Berger, was in my class. You know, the writer Carrie dated after Aiden. The really funny one who
freaked out at his answering machine when his ex left a message and broke up with Carrie on a
post-it note. Yeah, if you're a 20-40something woman who watches TV, you know exactly who I'm talking about.
Ok, so it really wasn't THE Jack Berger, but this guy looked SO much like him: super cute, funny, a writer, and probably slightly crazy... so I couldn't help myself. I swear even though I say I want to be Carrie Bradshaw, I really am not trying to be her. But I just can't help it if the one guy in the class happens to resemble someone who dated said character. And I'm about to read a piece I wrote about relationships outloud.
And so I begin. Voice shaky, talking too fast. There are pictures on my blog and hyperlinks but no one can see it since I'm reading it. But then I get a laugh and I start to relax. And then another laugh and I'm feeling better. At the end, I look up and everyone is smiling.
They each go around the room and tell me what they like and what they remember. They think it's funny; they love the structure; they think I should cut out part of a quote I used. It's all positive and I'm feeling really proud of my writing ability.
Then Berger speaks:
"I don't think you're necessarily trying to be her, but you are reminiscent of Carrie Bradshaw."
Oh Berger, you have no idea what that means to me.
So what if I'm "still speaking in 'Sex And The City.'" The reason I'm still using quotes from a show over 10 years ago is because the writers of the Carrie Bradshaw character were that good and memorable. The words were authentic and often painful at times. Maybe this is about continuing to put myself out there. To take risks. To be vulnerable.
I couldn't help but wonder... maybe I'm onto something.
(My class blog -- with a few minor edits can be read HERE.)
