musings from the road: The Happiness Waltz

On a plane, somewhere between Chicago, IL and Nashville, TN: During my final trip for the year, I’ve decided to go through my photos folder to review what the hell I actually did during 2013. It has truly been a whirlwind of nonstop travels and events and music (oh my). While I did my best to document the highlights (mainly on social media), I missed a few key occurrences that helped shaped my year. Here’s a brief overview of some of those major game-changers / year highpoints that I didn’t expound on much:

Spanish Lessons with Josh Rouse: I’m all about supporting artists I love when they need a little boost to get their next project off the ground. Especially when I know them personally. But it’s even more of an incentive when they offer some nice thank-you gifts in return. So earlier this year when Josh Rouse announced he would be recording a new album of music in a similar vein to that of 1972 & Nashville (or maybe that was just my dream), I was more than happy to throw a financial contribution his way, on behalf of my ears.

And what’s even better is that he offered a seemingly personal tailor-made exchange: a Spanish lesson with him directly via Skype. I’ve forever wanted to learn Spanish and was even traveling to Spain in the summer, so this seemed like the perfect fit. Unfortunately, because of both of our schedules, we were able to pin down a time to connect until after my vacation, but Josh held true to his word and I eventually spent a Sunday afternoon chatting with one of my favorite musicians, who actually lives in Spain, about a language in which he is fluent. In our hour-long call, it was determined that you can’t learn a language in an hour-long call (boo) and the best way to learn it is to immerse yourself in an actual Spanish-speaking city and be wiling to make lots of mistakes. We talked about the culture, about the places I visited while in Spain and Josh’s process of learning the language while dating a woman (who is now his wife) from there. But the best part was chatting about life in general – the album he was making, our tour together back in ’07 and of course, the possibility of him playing the Thistle Stop Café during his next trip back to the States. ¿Cómo se dice “carpe diem” en Español?

20 Year High School Reunion: Since I graduated from Daniel J. Gross High School in 1993, it made 2013 the 20-year anniversary of that occurrence. I had missed my 10-year reunion (thanks to the original KC), but I was determined to make it to this one. I realize that because of a very intentional and determined dream, I had worked my ass off to get to the very spot I dreamed about in high school. I have all the makings of someone who is successful. While I still lack a few key elements (a steady partner, being in better physical shape, etc.), overall, I can say I’m in a very fortunate and happy place in life. But going back to see people I spent formative years with was causing me more stress than anticipated. I worried I might slip back into the mind of a 13-18 year old, whose fears and insecurities – though now masked by glittery face jewelry and an eclectic contact list – were still there.

When I met my former classmates face to face (some, for the first time in 20 years), I could hear the voice in my head trying to sabotage the night (the loud, obnoxious one who pointed out the fact that I was only one of about four people who are currently single). But instead of attempting to mask what I was missing by using the go-to tactic of bragging about my endeavors (as taught by the characters of Romy & Michele’s High School Reunion), I did my best to be authentic and truly present in the moment. I wanted to know about their journeys and their hearts. In turn, they wanted to know about mine too. I experienced two fun nights, reconnecting with old friends and making new friendships with people I didn’t really know all that well 20 years ago.

There were, however, a couple exchanges I wish could have ended differently, but as someone pointed out, if I haven’t talked to those people in 20 years, it’s probably not worth trying to patch up an uncomfortable interaction (fueled by cheap beer) now. Which is a great lesson of being out of high school for 20 years: be authentic and the best person you can be, but at the end of the day, not everyone’s going to like you. And that’s ok.

Julia Baskette Thistle Farmer Award: I’ve been volunteering at Thistle Farms for over five years. What started as something to check off the proverbial do-good’er list I imposed on myself, has now turned into a full-fledged part of who I am. When Becca Stevens approached me last year about giving me a volunteer award, I shot her down immediately. “I don’t do this for accolades,” I replied bluntly. “Plus, I’m not even going to be in town around the time of the fundraiser” – which is when the award is presented. Becca let it slide, but on one condition – I must accept it next year. And anyone who knows Becca knows that she always gets what she wants. So a year came and went and as I was helping plan this year’s fundraiser, Welcome To The Circle, Becca reminded me of my promise to accept the award. Before I could fight her off again, Becca reminded me that she personally gets tons of awards and doesn’t necessarily feel like she deserves them herself. In theory, the awards should go to the women of Thistle Farms. But then she brought up a valid point: “If you are able to bring awareness to the organization by accepting an award in front of potential new supporters, you would really be letting down the women if you didn’t do it.” Additionally, if I chose to accept, I could promote the live music series, Thistle Thursdays, I had dreamed up earlier in the year. She made a strong case… plus, this year’s fundraiser was being held for the first time at The Ryman, which isn’t a bad place to be honored.

So on Tuesday evening in Nashville, TN, Katrina and Gwen, two dear friends and graduates of the Magdalene program, introduced to me to a sold out crowd at the Ryman Auditorium. My thank you speech (which I had been practicing for weeks) was more about making others aware that their support of the program isn’t just about helping a worthy “cause,” as much as it is about helping individual women finding love and their way back home. And isn’t that what we’re really all looking for anyway?